Monthly Archives: June 2010

Home again Home again Jiggity Jog

Adoption, Everyday Life, Garden, Veggies 5 Comments

We are back in TN after a whirlwind trip to CA. It was my first time to visit CA and a highlight was Yosemite National Park! We were only able to spend a single afternoon driving around trying to avoid the New Yorkesque Traffic Jams in front of such breath taking displays  as El Capitan.

Despite the crowded driving conditions, limited time, a temporarily broken auto focus on my camera and a super cranky toddler I still managed to shoot what I consider to be pretty cool photo’s under the circumstances. Of course, a blind man with a camera phone could shoot spectacular pictures with such staggering beauty everywhere one turned.

View from the road through the trees to yon far mountains

View from the road through the trees to yon far mountains

Yosemite Falls

Yosemite Falls

Spectacular View, burned ridge on the left

Spectacular View, burned ridge on the left

Cloud Puffs looked like Indian Signals from the mountain top

Cloud Puffs looked like Indian Signals from the mountain top

As my previous post explained the purpose of our trip to CA was the potential adoption of a baby girl. We went, we met the Grandmother and subsequently the Birth Mom. I was able to be with the Birth Mom (per her invitation) before and after the C section. She had a beautiful baby girl. Minutes after she was born I was allowed to hold her along with her Grandmother before she was whisked back to the nursery. I spent a precious few hours with the Birth Mom and BabyGirl during recovery. Changed baby girl’s diaper and held her close while her Mom slept. The Birth Mom confirmed her final decision to keep her baby girl and I said my good-bye’s. It was hard to leave CA without her. There are many things in the situation that in my limited perspective cause me worry and concern for the future of that sweet baby girl. We are keeping her covered in prayer and trust that God will be her protection and safety.  All in all it was an amazing experience and one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Walking through something like that with perfect strangers and coming out on the other side as friends is an incredible thing. Please pray with me for this little one and her Mom over the next few weeks. There are many circumstances in their lives that they will need God’s grace to weather.

Newborn BabyGirl with her long fingered hands clasped by her face

Newborn BabyGirl with her long fingered hands clasped by her face

The Doodlebug asked when we got back to TN where her baby sister was. We explained again that she was with her Birth Mom and that we would ask God to bring us a baby. The next night the Doodlebug prayed so sweetly and so sincerely for a baby sister. It was one of the first times I have heard her pray and tears filled my eyes. We are going to continue on our Home Study path and trust that God will bring a baby into our lives to love in person for the long run. BabyGirl in CA will always be loved and hold a special place in our hearts even if she never shared our home.

We hit the ground running upon our return with many things needing attention immediately. The garden is overgrown by weeds. My tomatoes planned a coup and overtook the measly bamboo supports I had rigged before I left. The cucumbers plants are loving the experimental cages I had them climb this year and are growing gigantic mutant large cukes seemingly overnight, completely by passing the intermediate perfectly sized harvest stage and leaping right from babyhood into overgrown chubby adulthood within hours. I never got the rest of the garden planted so no corn or okra. The lettuce has all gone to seed and it’s time to plant another batch of it in the shady parts of the garden. One thing I love about TN is the ability to grow lettuce 3 out of the 4 seasons. With the addition of the wooden frame and plastic I might be able to stretch it all the way through all four seasons this year which would be VERY neat. Fresh lettuce from the garden in January? Yes, please!

I plan on blogging about some of the cool food we experienced in CA. Absolutely love the emphasis on fruits, veggies and overall freshness! It is now 2 AM and time for me to stop rambling. Just a quick thank you in closing for those of us who faithfully prayed for us through the journey to CA and the experience with BabyGirl. God was so faithful down to the last details in a situation that by all rights should have been more difficult than we could have stood to go through in our own strength. Instead we were sustained by that miraculous peace and confidence.

Since it’s technically Sunday already may you have a wonderful day of rest and restoration in preparation for the week to come. =)

Peace Passes Understanding

Adoption, Everyday Life, Secrets and Confessions Leave a comment

As some of you know TheMan and I have been pursuing adoption for the past few months. About a week ago we were made aware of a situation involving a baby that would need a home.  Things have moved fast and we are leaving in a couple of hours to the airport to fly to CA.  The baby is due by C-section on June 22nd.

The unknowns in this situation are staggering. The cost(s) are adding up rapidly. This hasn’t been something that we have had the luxury of weeks or months to prepare for.

To be honest this scares me. I like plans. I need plans. Everything I do has an itemized structure to it with a beginning, middle and end. I make lists. Lots of lists. Lists are my friends. Lists pick up where my bad memory leaves off.

This wasn’t the plan. The plan was for an adoption to take a long time. To finally get that homestudy we’ve been working our way through. Wait weeks and months to be picked out among other waiting families by a Birth Mom. Prepare and countdown the months until the baby is born. Trust God to provide the rather large sum of money it was going to take to do an official agency adoption.

That is a pretty safe plan. A lot of buffers. A lot of time to process. And make lists. Lot’s of lists. And be ready.  Although that official process doesn’t come with anymore of a guarantee than any other form of adoption, there are safety measures. A lot of counseling provided to the Birth Mom. A lot of effort put into her and the babies health as much as possible. Loving Christian Foster families to take care of the baby for that oh so terrifying period of time that the Birth Mom can decide to revoke her decision to allow someone else to raise her child. The Agency encouraged us to take advantage of every single one of these “less painful” processes.

I thought that was a great idea for the most part. It made sense. It felt safe.

This isn’t safe. It is about as risky as an adoption get’s. And there is no time. No buffers.

Yet. There is peace. Confident peace. Doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t add up. I’m defininitely swimming waaaaaay outside of my comfort zone in every respect in regards to how this is happening.

But it’s Ok.

And not because I believe it’s all going to be a bed of roses and work out exactly like we want it to.

It’s Ok because we are doing what we need to do.

What we are supposed to do.

And the peace that passes comprehension, understanding and categorization is there.

It’s like a stillness in the midst of chaos.

Tranquility in a traffic jam. Happiness in pain. Calm in a storm.

So we go. We hope to be able to meet with the Birth Mother. I’m asking God to do that for us. It doesn’t feel right to ask or expect any Mom to give her baby to people she’s never met. I want her to see the love we have. I want her to know it’s there. I don’t want there to ever be a hint of a question in her mind that her baby is being taken care of.

We hope that she decides to allow us to have the honor of loving, caring for, training and watching this baby grow up into an adult. We hope the Birth Mom decides to allow us to be there at the hospital so we can hold her right away and learn to care for her from the very beginning. We (selfishly) hope that she waives her right to 30 days in which to change her mind after giving the baby to us. We hope our hearts are spared the pain of loving and then letting go. We hope a lot of things. We are guaranteed none of them.

And that’s Ok.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

—Philippians 4:6-7
So instead of lists, I’m making a lot of requests be known to God. And you know what? The peace of God, which surpasses all my understand is guarding my heart. It’s a beautiful and miraculous thing for me to experience.
Please pray for us as we take this very much unknown path. Especially for TheMan, who already loves this baby very much and the Doodlbug who is beside herself at the thought that God might give our family a baby. I can’t think of a better and more capable big sister than the Doodlebug is going to be. 
Time for me to do a last minute luggage check before dozing off for a few ZZzzzz’s before our airport run. Will be posting more in the days to come.

Garden Dreams

Garden, Herbs, Herbs and Supplements, Veggies 4 Comments

I grew up with a Mom that was (and still is) and incredible gardener. Although I don’t think she’s ever gotten that officious title of Master Gardener, she truly is one and has the extensive gardens to prove it. She has that uncanny ability to take a scrawny, dead looking twig and infuse life into it to the point that the next thing you know this huge plant bursting with color and vitality where a stick used to be. I seem to have inherited the polar opposite ability. Not sure which side of the family tree to blame my black thumb on so it shall remain an unclaimed orphan. Unlike my Mom my gardening skills lie in the realm of taking perfectly hearty and healthy plans and turning them into dry, dead twigs.

So, I dream. I dream of a gorgeous yard filled with beautifully arranged flower beds. I dream of that organic, mostly weed free garden erupting with fresh produce. I dream of window boxes with colorful flowers dancing in the breeze. Of culinary herb beds just outside my kitchen door.

In the three years since we moved to TN I have managed to grow some things. I wouldn’t exactly say anything I grow thrives per say but at least it isn’t dead within a matter of weeks and occasionally manages to produce what it is intended to produce. After three years of working on the soil, weeding like crazy I have for the first time a garden that is day dream worthy.  It survived the flood without being washed away and decided to erupt in glorious growth with all the water! Just don’t look too close. The weeds are still ever present, and some of the plants have gone rogue but it’s so beautiful and so alive I love it anyway.

Thought I would share some of my favorite photo’s which are something like documentation of personal triumphs for me. Each plant that is alive is a victory!

Cabbage destined for cultured saurkraut

Cabbage destined for cultured saurkraut

Herb Garden with Fountain in the middle

Herb Garden with Fountain in the middle

My herb garden has been a challenge. Some herbs have gone crazy taking up way more than their fair share of space while others struggle along clinging to life.

One of the wee herbs struggling for life: Borage

One of the wee herbs struggling for life: Borage

Chamomile

Chamomile

Bumble Bee Partaking of green Sage bloom. Apparently Sage is super hardy because I can't kill it and it's thriving on neglect.

Bumble Bee Partaking of green Sage bloom. Apparently Sage is super hardy because I can't kill it and it's thriving on neglect.

Cilantro gone wild! Never knew Cilantro would grow into such beautiful, feathery blooms.

Cilantro gone wild! Never knew Cilantro would grow into such beautiful, feathery blooms.

Rue! Glorious Rue! This grows wild in some places. Has the most delectable smell. Is a medicinal Herb.

Rue! Glorious Rue! This grows wild in some places. Has the most delectable smell. Is a medicinal Herb.

Green Tomatoes

Green Tomatoes

Wee Cucumber with it's blossom still attached

Wee Cucumber with it's blossom still attached

Veggie Garden and back yard overview

Veggie Garden and back yard overview

I hope to be sharing recipes and research as I learn how to harvest and use the various herbs and veggies. In the meantime does anybody have an incredible (preferably cultured??) recipe for Green Tomato Chutney? I’ve never made it before but would like to try.