We are back in TN after a whirlwind trip to CA. It was my first time to visit CA and a highlight was Yosemite National Park! We were only able to spend a single afternoon driving around trying to avoid the New Yorkesque Traffic Jams in front of such breath taking displays as El Capitan.
Despite the crowded driving conditions, limited time, a temporarily broken auto focus on my camera and a super cranky toddler I still managed to shoot what I consider to be pretty cool photo’s under the circumstances. Of course, a blind man with a camera phone could shoot spectacular pictures with such staggering beauty everywhere one turned.
As my previous post explained the purpose of our trip to CA was the potential adoption of a baby girl. We went, we met the Grandmother and subsequently the Birth Mom. I was able to be with the Birth Mom (per her invitation) before and after the C section. She had a beautiful baby girl. Minutes after she was born I was allowed to hold her along with her Grandmother before she was whisked back to the nursery. I spent a precious few hours with the Birth Mom and BabyGirl during recovery. Changed baby girl’s diaper and held her close while her Mom slept. The Birth Mom confirmed her final decision to keep her baby girl and I said my good-bye’s. It was hard to leave CA without her. There are many things in the situation that in my limited perspective cause me worry and concern for the future of that sweet baby girl. We are keeping her covered in prayer and trust that God will be her protection and safety. All in all it was an amazing experience and one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Walking through something like that with perfect strangers and coming out on the other side as friends is an incredible thing. Please pray with me for this little one and her Mom over the next few weeks. There are many circumstances in their lives that they will need God’s grace to weather.
The Doodlebug asked when we got back to TN where her baby sister was. We explained again that she was with her Birth Mom and that we would ask God to bring us a baby. The next night the Doodlebug prayed so sweetly and so sincerely for a baby sister. It was one of the first times I have heard her pray and tears filled my eyes. We are going to continue on our Home Study path and trust that God will bring a baby into our lives to love in person for the long run. BabyGirl in CA will always be loved and hold a special place in our hearts even if she never shared our home.
We hit the ground running upon our return with many things needing attention immediately. The garden is overgrown by weeds. My tomatoes planned a coup and overtook the measly bamboo supports I had rigged before I left. The cucumbers plants are loving the experimental cages I had them climb this year and are growing gigantic mutant large cukes seemingly overnight, completely by passing the intermediate perfectly sized harvest stage and leaping right from babyhood into overgrown chubby adulthood within hours. I never got the rest of the garden planted so no corn or okra. The lettuce has all gone to seed and it’s time to plant another batch of it in the shady parts of the garden. One thing I love about TN is the ability to grow lettuce 3 out of the 4 seasons. With the addition of the wooden frame and plastic I might be able to stretch it all the way through all four seasons this year which would be VERY neat. Fresh lettuce from the garden in January? Yes, please!
I plan on blogging about some of the cool food we experienced in CA. Absolutely love the emphasis on fruits, veggies and overall freshness! It is now 2 AM and time for me to stop rambling. Just a quick thank you in closing for those of us who faithfully prayed for us through the journey to CA and the experience with BabyGirl. God was so faithful down to the last details in a situation that by all rights should have been more difficult than we could have stood to go through in our own strength. Instead we were sustained by that miraculous peace and confidence.
Since it’s technically Sunday already may you have a wonderful day of rest and restoration in preparation for the week to come. =)
This was a journey for all of us. =) Near the end I even prayed that the mother would see your empty arms and feel a surge of compassion that would help her to make the very difficult decision of giving up her baby. There is no doubt that baby Gracie would have thrived in your loving home. I’m so glad God is sovereign in all things or else it would be very, very difficult to leave this situation with peace of mind and joy in your heart. Thanks for sharing and having an open heart. Love you, Mom
Thank you so much for letting us all go through this experience with you. I suspect the story is not over yet, so please continue to keep us posted! God likes the prayers of little girls! 🙂
Love you lots, Nancy
I just read this post. We went through a very similar experience this summer at almost the exact same time. A baby boy was born on June 25 that we had hoped would be our second son (our first is adopted, too). On July 1 (my birthday), we ended up returning to him to his very young and unstable birthfamily. He’d been in our home less than 48 hours, but it had already felt like he’d been with us forever. Our son (who is 2 1/2) will still ask every once in a while where his baby brother is. And I, like you, tell him that we need to pray that God will give us a baby to keep, like He gave him to us to keep. I don’t know about you, but I got through the first 4 or five weeks with a sense of confidence that the right thing had happened and that it was all going to be okay. But since then I’ve struggled more. I’m just starting to feel like I can put the things in the nursery away. I piled a bunch of stuff in there and just shut the door. I don’t think I’ve spent more than a couple minutes in there since. And you made that long trip!
Anyway, I can completely relate. We actually decided to pull ourselves out of the adoptive process for a while so that we had time to grieve. Not being able to have the family I had planned on has been the most difficult trial of my life. I wish I could say that I’ve handled it all with grace and full of faith, but unfortunately I can’t. I’m so thankful that God’s grace never fails and never gives up. His lovingkindness and longsuffering are so precious to me now.
God bless you as you continue in the process. I’m hoping that we will be ready soon to renew our efforts.
Could I just suggest to anyone out there hoping for a baby to PLEASE give the foster system a try? We had 3 biological children (by the grace of God) and I could not conceive after that. We fostered about 20 children over the past 10 years and the only stipulation was that they be younger than our own children. Our very first foster child was 6 weeks old when he came to us and will be 11 in Aug. (we were able to adopt him).Our 5 year old daughter came to us at 2 days after birth and we have had her ever since. Yes there were 18 other children who did not stay but still we were blessed by their presence in our home. We often hear people say “oh, I could NEVER be a foster parent because I would get too attached”. Please don’t say that to a foster family…to them it implies that the you can’t love a child as much as they could.. The fact of the matter is that it’s not about US, we are the adults we can handle pain and suffering, it’s about the children. We DO need to get attached, how else can you love a child if you are not attached to them? There can be no regrets when you love these children and they have to leave your home because they will know that they are loved and this will have a positive impact on them for the rest of their lives. (Of the 20 children we fostered, more than half were infants and available for adoption).