It’s WARM!

I am a very bad blogger these days. Wish that words would just flow from me effortlessly like they did back when I wasn’t so tired all the time…or so busy…or so mentally distracted. Oh wait, I’ve always been distracted and distractable. So that isn’t a new development. Mostly I just don’t take the time anymore, simple as that. But, I need to. It’s good for me to be forced to at least try to share any tidbids I’m learning about life a I go and have a venue that others can share what they are learning too!

Unfortunately today I can’t seem to focus long enough to even think about writing up that amAZing gluten free Blueberry cake I made for the Doodles Birthday Party. Hopefully that will be coming soon. Or about the progress the garden is making. Or about how incredibly in love I am with the Farmers Market.

So, let’s see. What I DO feel like talking about is this wee babe. Thus far it’s been dubbed TheAlien since I have had a kinda hard time getting used to the idea that I am really and truly for real pregnant. At 16 weeks along and definitely showing you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard for me to come to grips with but it is! Some days I still forget. The Doodlebug is very excited and often asks to “talk to the baby” or “hug the baby” or “can I sleep with the baby Mama?” which is code for laying her head on my tummy and cat napping. I love that she’s so excited. She went to our first midwife appointment and thought hearing the heartbeat was pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Oh, did I mention it is WARM? Nay, even a bit hot some days. I am *loving it* After the way too cold for way too long winter we had this sweat inducing weather is pure bliss.

Thank you to all of you who prayed for us and with us about the situation involving a pregnant 15 year old girl in GA. She decided to keep her baby and I would ask that you continue to pray for her if you think about it. The road of a single, teenaged Mom without much family support is going to be incredibly hard. Remember us asking for prayer last year for our trip to CA that also involved a potential adoption? We found out a couple of days ago that the BirthMom’s situation is not very good. Long story short we are again making ourselves available to adopt her little girl who is now 11 months old. Please be in prayer for this precious girl. There are many factors in her life that I cannot go into right now that are deeply troubling to us. Please pray protection over her in every way. If her BirthMom were to decide to allow us to adopt her we would have to make a very hasty trip to CA which would also include a scramble to get our lives ready to accomodate a new-needy little one.

Our garden is loving this warm weather. So are the weeds. I’m convinced I grow weeds better than anybody. This year I’ve declared war though and am doing better than usual at keeping them down. Hopefully if I can keep them down at this stage it’ll keep me from getting over-run around the middle to late summer like I usually do.

In other, very shallow news, we do not have internet at our house anymore. This is sad sad news for this self confessed internet addict. I now have to go to the Beeyoutiful store in our town to check e-mail, facebook and yes, of course blog! My friends assure me I will undoubtedly be a much more productive member of society without internet distracting me all through the day. I have no doubt they are absolutely right but maybe I don’t WANT to be productive. Maybe I LIKE being entertained by various internet related things. =D (ahem) No, I’ll make it although I really never realized just how much of my daily socialization happens via IM. We are also a one vehicle family for the time being so my out and abouts are limited to when DaMan’s schedule allows. But hopefully tomorrow we’ll be able to purchase a new-to-us vehicle and I’ll have wheels again! That will be a yippee moment for sure and I’ll probably spend a lot more time than I should driving around just cuz I can the first week or so.

It’s time for me to head back home. Hopefully my next post will feature a super yummy gluten free birthday cake recipe. If it doesn’t just remind me. It will probably still be on my list…just procrastinated a little more than some other thing.

Thank you again for the prayers. It means so much to us that people are praying for this sweet girl and our involvement in her life. =)

The Adoption Wait Begins Again

stormy sky

Stormy Sky

Somewhere in GA a 15 year old girl is pregnant. Probably a lot of places in GA have 15 year old pregnant girls. But, there is one girl in particular that has been on our hearts and minds the past couple of weeks. We were contacted by a 3rd party to ask if we would be open to adopting this girls baby. We of course are and so the process of communications began. When we were contacted the girl did not know what she wanted to do. Keep the baby, give it up, try to get her Mom to raise it…all of these options and from one day to the next what seemed most viable would change. We found out this morning that the girl met with her Pastor’s wife and has apparently somewhat formalized her decision that adoption is the best option for both her and her baby. Tonight she is going to be told about us and introduced to the “idea” of us as a family who would be happy to adopt her baby.

We have been down this road before. Just this summer actually. We know how utterly uncertain it is. This one is just as uncertain as the last, maybe even more so. But, it is an opportunity to show love and care to someone who needs it in a very real way. It is all about the baby yet in some ways it has nothing to do with the baby. It’s about showing love and service. About being available, and vulnerable. Open hearts and arms. About serving even when it means the heart might hurt in the end. It’s what we are called to do.

There is excitement in the knowledge that another adoption journey door has been opened. It’s like walking along a path that you have no idea where it will go or if there will even be a path in front of you from one day to the next. It’s just that uncertain. There is also a bit of nervousness along with the excitement.

Please be in prayer for this girl and her baby. She is due in March and is expecting a baby girl. Pray that God gives her wisdom and a peace that passes all understanding. Pray that God’s will be done in all of our lives. Pray for wise words for the people who are giving her counsel. And please pray for patience and peace for us as we begin this process of taking one baby step at a time. The journey could end tonight or it could continue on for several more days and weeks. We could end up holding this baby in our arms to give her back, or taking her home to become part of our family.

Regardless of the decisions made this girl and her baby will need prayers in the coming months and days. Please pray with us for her.  In honor of MLK Day and in remembrance of a man who knew what it was to hope for something that seemed impossible and to walk a path with arms and heart open despite the pain it caused him some of his quotes seems an appropriate way to close this post.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’
Martin Luther King, Jr.
The time is always right to do what is right.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Rays of hope

Rays of hope

Home again Home again Jiggity Jog

We are back in TN after a whirlwind trip to CA. It was my first time to visit CA and a highlight was Yosemite National Park! We were only able to spend a single afternoon driving around trying to avoid the New Yorkesque Traffic Jams in front of such breath taking displays  as El Capitan.

Despite the crowded driving conditions, limited time, a temporarily broken auto focus on my camera and a super cranky toddler I still managed to shoot what I consider to be pretty cool photo’s under the circumstances. Of course, a blind man with a camera phone could shoot spectacular pictures with such staggering beauty everywhere one turned.

View from the road through the trees to yon far mountains

View from the road through the trees to yon far mountains

Yosemite Falls

Yosemite Falls

Spectacular View, burned ridge on the left

Spectacular View, burned ridge on the left

Cloud Puffs looked like Indian Signals from the mountain top

Cloud Puffs looked like Indian Signals from the mountain top

As my previous post explained the purpose of our trip to CA was the potential adoption of a baby girl. We went, we met the Grandmother and subsequently the Birth Mom. I was able to be with the Birth Mom (per her invitation) before and after the C section. She had a beautiful baby girl. Minutes after she was born I was allowed to hold her along with her Grandmother before she was whisked back to the nursery. I spent a precious few hours with the Birth Mom and BabyGirl during recovery. Changed baby girl’s diaper and held her close while her Mom slept. The Birth Mom confirmed her final decision to keep her baby girl and I said my good-bye’s. It was hard to leave CA without her. There are many things in the situation that in my limited perspective cause me worry and concern for the future of that sweet baby girl. We are keeping her covered in prayer and trust that God will be her protection and safety.  All in all it was an amazing experience and one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Walking through something like that with perfect strangers and coming out on the other side as friends is an incredible thing. Please pray with me for this little one and her Mom over the next few weeks. There are many circumstances in their lives that they will need God’s grace to weather.

Newborn BabyGirl with her long fingered hands clasped by her face

Newborn BabyGirl with her long fingered hands clasped by her face

The Doodlebug asked when we got back to TN where her baby sister was. We explained again that she was with her Birth Mom and that we would ask God to bring us a baby. The next night the Doodlebug prayed so sweetly and so sincerely for a baby sister. It was one of the first times I have heard her pray and tears filled my eyes. We are going to continue on our Home Study path and trust that God will bring a baby into our lives to love in person for the long run. BabyGirl in CA will always be loved and hold a special place in our hearts even if she never shared our home.

We hit the ground running upon our return with many things needing attention immediately. The garden is overgrown by weeds. My tomatoes planned a coup and overtook the measly bamboo supports I had rigged before I left. The cucumbers plants are loving the experimental cages I had them climb this year and are growing gigantic mutant large cukes seemingly overnight, completely by passing the intermediate perfectly sized harvest stage and leaping right from babyhood into overgrown chubby adulthood within hours. I never got the rest of the garden planted so no corn or okra. The lettuce has all gone to seed and it’s time to plant another batch of it in the shady parts of the garden. One thing I love about TN is the ability to grow lettuce 3 out of the 4 seasons. With the addition of the wooden frame and plastic I might be able to stretch it all the way through all four seasons this year which would be VERY neat. Fresh lettuce from the garden in January? Yes, please!

I plan on blogging about some of the cool food we experienced in CA. Absolutely love the emphasis on fruits, veggies and overall freshness! It is now 2 AM and time for me to stop rambling. Just a quick thank you in closing for those of us who faithfully prayed for us through the journey to CA and the experience with BabyGirl. God was so faithful down to the last details in a situation that by all rights should have been more difficult than we could have stood to go through in our own strength. Instead we were sustained by that miraculous peace and confidence.

Since it’s technically Sunday already may you have a wonderful day of rest and restoration in preparation for the week to come. =)

Peace Passes Understanding

As some of you know TheMan and I have been pursuing adoption for the past few months. About a week ago we were made aware of a situation involving a baby that would need a home.  Things have moved fast and we are leaving in a couple of hours to the airport to fly to CA.  The baby is due by C-section on June 22nd.

The unknowns in this situation are staggering. The cost(s) are adding up rapidly. This hasn’t been something that we have had the luxury of weeks or months to prepare for.

To be honest this scares me. I like plans. I need plans. Everything I do has an itemized structure to it with a beginning, middle and end. I make lists. Lots of lists. Lists are my friends. Lists pick up where my bad memory leaves off.

This wasn’t the plan. The plan was for an adoption to take a long time. To finally get that homestudy we’ve been working our way through. Wait weeks and months to be picked out among other waiting families by a Birth Mom. Prepare and countdown the months until the baby is born. Trust God to provide the rather large sum of money it was going to take to do an official agency adoption.

That is a pretty safe plan. A lot of buffers. A lot of time to process. And make lists. Lot’s of lists. And be ready.  Although that official process doesn’t come with anymore of a guarantee than any other form of adoption, there are safety measures. A lot of counseling provided to the Birth Mom. A lot of effort put into her and the babies health as much as possible. Loving Christian Foster families to take care of the baby for that oh so terrifying period of time that the Birth Mom can decide to revoke her decision to allow someone else to raise her child. The Agency encouraged us to take advantage of every single one of these “less painful” processes.

I thought that was a great idea for the most part. It made sense. It felt safe.

This isn’t safe. It is about as risky as an adoption get’s. And there is no time. No buffers.

Yet. There is peace. Confident peace. Doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t add up. I’m defininitely swimming waaaaaay outside of my comfort zone in every respect in regards to how this is happening.

But it’s Ok.

And not because I believe it’s all going to be a bed of roses and work out exactly like we want it to.

It’s Ok because we are doing what we need to do.

What we are supposed to do.

And the peace that passes comprehension, understanding and categorization is there.

It’s like a stillness in the midst of chaos.

Tranquility in a traffic jam. Happiness in pain. Calm in a storm.

So we go. We hope to be able to meet with the Birth Mother. I’m asking God to do that for us. It doesn’t feel right to ask or expect any Mom to give her baby to people she’s never met. I want her to see the love we have. I want her to know it’s there. I don’t want there to ever be a hint of a question in her mind that her baby is being taken care of.

We hope that she decides to allow us to have the honor of loving, caring for, training and watching this baby grow up into an adult. We hope the Birth Mom decides to allow us to be there at the hospital so we can hold her right away and learn to care for her from the very beginning. We (selfishly) hope that she waives her right to 30 days in which to change her mind after giving the baby to us. We hope our hearts are spared the pain of loving and then letting go. We hope a lot of things. We are guaranteed none of them.

And that’s Ok.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

—Philippians 4:6-7
So instead of lists, I’m making a lot of requests be known to God. And you know what? The peace of God, which surpasses all my understand is guarding my heart. It’s a beautiful and miraculous thing for me to experience.
Please pray for us as we take this very much unknown path. Especially for TheMan, who already loves this baby very much and the Doodlbug who is beside herself at the thought that God might give our family a baby. I can’t think of a better and more capable big sister than the Doodlebug is going to be. 
Time for me to do a last minute luggage check before dozing off for a few ZZzzzz’s before our airport run. Will be posting more in the days to come.